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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  January 27, 2016 10:34pm-11:37pm CST

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of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- natalie portman. john oliver. musical guest sia. and featuring the legendarar roots crew. >> questlove: 409 galveston. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy y llon!
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>> jimmy: that's unbelievable. sounding great. fantastic. good to see you guys. looking good! hot, hot crowd! hot crowd tonight. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, welcome, welcome. weome to "the tonight show," everybody. this is it. you're here. you made it. we're all ready for a big show tonight. so happy you're here. thank you, thank you very much. here's what peoplelere talking about. yesterday big news, donald trump announced that he is not going to participate in the fox news debate tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] the other candidates are really excited to present their views in a serious yet respectle -- respectful manner which means they haven't been told that nobody's going to watch this one. [ cheers and applause ] trump says that he's not going to the fox news bate because moderator megyn kelly is biased against him.
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and trump has a right to be scared because usually when a a younger attractive woman disagrees with him, she ends up taking half his stuff. [ laughter ] you see why -- [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from his point of view. >> jimmy: of course, the other candidates have some pretty being in the debate. check it out. [ laughter ] marco rubio said, "good." [ laughter ] ben carson said, "good." rand paul said, "good." finally chris christie said "food -- i mean, good." [ laughter ] >> steve: wait, what? >> jimmy: why would he get -- [ cheers and applause ] why would he trip up like that? >> steve: why did he say food?d? >> jimmy: it's not easy. i tripped up earlier. you trip up words. >> steve: it happens. >> jimmy: you make mistakes. we're human beings. that's all. >> steve: yeah, what's on your mind? food. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and then good. >> steve: yeah, good. >> jimmy: despite trump bowing out fox news -- did you see this higgins? they're still trying to get people excited about the debate. so even going on without donald trump. i don't know if this is
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have you seen this commercial? watch. >> thursday night it's the fox news republican debate! [ laughter ] sure, donald trump won't be there, but that doesn't mean this debate won't blow your foxing mind! you still got a bush that won't be tamed. >> we were -- we have -- we balanced every budget. >> and wake up mother truckers! because ben carson's about to open your head and drop a a sponge in it! >> the value of personal responsibility, hard work, cre -- creativity. >> plus the triple decker disaster -- cruz, kasich, christie! -- and rand paul. the fox news republican debate! we are totally not freaking out right now! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: exciting. i don't know. >> steve: i don't know. [ applause ] >> jimmy: but it seems like donald trump is still getting plenty of support. in fact, his latest endorsement -- did you hear this -- is from the balloon boy. >> steve: oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you remember -- remember the kid whose parents said he floated away in a
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the hoax in 2009. like aluminum foil balloon in like a box. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: well balloon boy has officially endorsed donald trump for president. [ laughter ] he was like, what can i say, i'm prone to getting carried away by hot air. [ laughter ] so now i hear you. [ cheers and applause ] said enough, that's -- >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: the balloon boy. >> steveveballoon boy. >> jimmy: we watched it here. >> steve: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: it happened in the afternoon. >> steve: we were like, "what the heck?" >> jimmy: so great. >> steve: "there's no way a a human could fit in that thing." >> jimmy: i was worried. yeah. i go, "is that possible? it's like carrying a boy." [ laughter ] over at a town hall in iowa, a a voter asked hillary clinton how her views align with the ten commandments, and she said thatatquote "in many areasas judgment should be left to god." then god was like, "okay, you really shouldn't have deleted all those e- mails. i'm just saying. [ laughter ] you brought it up. you brought it up. i'm just saying." [ cheers and applause ] not getting into it. >> steve: i'm just sitting over there. >> jimmy: of course,
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[ laughter ] >> steve: doink. >> jimmy: he's also still in the race for the democratic nomination. and i don't know if it's because his campaign is still struggling so much but i think he might be starting to crack a a little bit. check him out on the campaign trail this week. watch, this is real. iowa iowa winterpring summer or fall sowing our cropop singing our songs waiting until harvest time whoa whoa whoa iowa iowa winter spring summer or fall [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: at least the dience -- at least t t dience seemed into it. [ laughter ] he's still singing? >> steve: when is martin o'm'mley coming on? >> jimmy: i think it marked the first time that iowa's cows
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boo, boo! [ laughter and applamse ] this is kind of crazy here. did you hear this? there's a great dane in nevada named rocko now believed to be the world's tallest dog. he's seven feet tall on his hind legs and weighs 167 pounds. when you throw a stick, the dog goes, "you get it." [ laughter and applause ] do you believe that? that's right, there's a dog that's seven feet tall on his hind legs. his owner says he likes getting his hair brushed, eating carrots, and she just now realized he's a horse. but no big deal. [ laughter and applause ] what's the big deal? it's some type of news, right? [ applause ] finally, as i mentntned earlier, campaign season is heating up and the iowa caucuses are less than a week away. and we wanted to talk to people on the street and hear what they had to say about the presidential candidates. but because we do the show from rockefeller center, we added a
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we sent our writer arthur who doesn't have much skating experience down to the skating rink -- [ laughter ] right here in rockefeller plaza to talk to people about politics while also trying to skate. it's a new segment we call ice-sking questions. ice-sking questions yeah [ cheers and applause ] >> what do you think are the most important issues in the election? [ laughter ] what -- sorry, what do you think are the most important issues in the election? >> national security, the economy and health care. >> do you think bernie sanders is too extreme to get nominated? [ laughter ] >> i don't think he's any worse -- than the rest of them, >> okay. what do you think are the most election? and jobs. [ laughter ] >> sorry. do you think that donaldldrump is too extreme to get the nomination? >> i do. >> ah oh, no! oh, no! who do you think will be the nominee for president? sorry. and then what about for the democrats?
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going to be hillary. >> oh! [ laughter ] you okay? >> yep, i'm fine. >> do you think donald trump will be the republican nominee? >> no. >> no. >> here you go, jimmy, we've heard a lot of interesting opinions and i think i learned a little something about skating in the process. [ cheers and applause ] >> back to you, jimmy. >> jimmy: wow, he learned a lot about skating. arthur myer, everybody. we have a great show. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, everybody. thank you very much. we have a great, great, great, great, great show. and no joke, tonight, it's unbelievable. it's just -- it's funny, it's
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tonight is "the tonight show." this is tonight. >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: this is what i'm talking about. this is a good time. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here. thanks fororatching. first, quick mentiononyou guys mike nichols was one of the true legends of writing, directing, and performing. this friday on pbs, american masters is kicking off its 30th season with a special about mike nichols. it's directed by the great elaine may. it has interviews with steven spielberg, meryl streep, tom hanks, dustin hoffman. if you are a fan of mikekeichols or you want to be a fan, you got to check this thing out. it's on pbs, "american masters." [ cheers and applause ] one in a zillion. we've got a big show tonight. she is an academy award-winning actress with a big new movie opening this weekend. it's a western called "jane got a gun." one of our favorites, natalie portman is here! [ cheers and applause ] just -- just a joy -- just a a joy to be around. >> steve: come on.
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>> jimmy: plus he's the award winning host of hbo's "last week tonight with john oliver." the very, very, very, very, very funny john oliver is dropping by. [ cheers and appuse ] he's a funny, funny guy. and one of the -- one of the best voices in music today, one of the coolest artists out there ever, and just fantastic to work with, too, just watching her rehearse was like amazing. and just -- it's just mind blowing, we love her so much. sia is performing for us. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "this is acting." [ cheers and applause ] i can't do that. [ laughter ] she has a very small mouth. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: usually you can't see her mouth. >> steve: because she's singing. >> jimmy: well the wig is usually covering up to here. but then with the wig up a a little bit, that's her. yeah, she has a very --
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mouth. >> jimmy: that's her normal mouth. >> steve: that's how she gets these beautiful dulcet tones. >> jimmy: yeah, like this is -- this is the new song. you want hear it? listen. [ laughter ] no, over the computer. >> steve: that sounds like herer lip. >> jimmy: no, i'm playing it on the computer. [ kissing noises ] [ laughter ] it's one of the best -- "cheap thrills." >> steve: really? >> jimmy: sia's new song. >> steve: god. [ chchrs and applause ] >> jimmy: sisis on the show. >> steve: sia. >> jimmy: see ya, i would want to be ya. >> steve: in this case i would. >> jimmy: i would want to be her, yeah. i read something that really disturbed me recently. >> steve: what is that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: american kids are ranked 30th in the world in terms of math skills.
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turn this thing around. i think the problem is that today's kids just can't relate to old fashioned things like numbers. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] who would? who would? >> jimmy: so we've updated math to make the questions -- the equations more about stuff modern kids can relate to in a a segment called popular mathematics. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] popular mathematics mathematics [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on. that's a great -- >> steve: come on. [ cheers and applause ] mathematics >> steve: that makes math more fun. >> jimmy: i want to download that one. that was good. what do you say? popular mathematics mathematics >> steve: i like the way it goes up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, fantastic. let me show you. let's take a look at our first equation here. if you take flo rida. [ laughter ] plus mad max. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: it equals flomax. you see what i'm saying? [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, i see. >> jimmy: that's the idea. >> steve: this and that. forget numbers. >> jimmy: no, no. this is it. forgrg numbers. ke here's another ononher. you have halle berry. >> steve: yeah.
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equals hall & oates. you see what i'm saying? [ laughter ] you get what it is now? >> steve: that was good. i understand it. [ applause ] this should be like on a psat. >> jimmy: like if you don't understand i'll give you another example. take super mario. >> steve: love it. >> jimmy: plus a pool liner. >> steve: got it. >> jimmy: it equals el chapo. [ laughtht] you see what i'm saying? >> steve: i see. >> jimmy: it all -- >> steve: it's a popular mathmatics. >> jimmy: very loud shirt and you understand math. >> steve: i e. he somewhat looks like mario. i love it. i can see how kids would love this. >> jimmy: here's another one here. grandpa munster. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: minus 35 years. >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: equals ted cruz. [ laughter ] see, now, kids they see it. the visual thing. >> steve: yeah, yeah. [ cheers and appppuse ] this is gonna sweep the e tion. >> jimmy: if you take the alphabet. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: plus a blender. >> steve: uh-huh. >> jimmy: it equals kristaps porzingis. [ laughter ] he's the king of new york. >> steve: he's the king of new york, i know. >> jimmy: great player, great name. >> steve: he's the king -- he's the korningis. >> jimmy: he's the korningus. >> steve: yeah, 's the korningus of new york. >> jimmy: i just officially crowned him korningis of new york.
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>> jimmy: yeah, porzingis is the korningis. [ laughter ] here -- here's another one here, you guys. >> steve: let me see it. >> jimmy: donald duck. >> steve: yep. >> jimmy: plus uncle scrooge equals donald trump. you see. very -- [ laughter ] you understand. >> steve: that i see exactly. [ applause ] >> jimmy: if you take ricola -- [ laughter ] plus drake, it equals drakeula. drakeula [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: i want to suck your bling. he doesn't have to say it. >> steve: no, he should say it. >> jimmy: but he could. that's what i'm saying. >> steve: he started from the bottom. >> jimmy: it's an option for him to say it. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: doesn't have to do anything. >> steve: he doesn't do nothing. he's drake, man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's -- >> steve: drakeula man? >> jimmy: here's another one here. if y y take statler and waldorf. >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: and divide it by two, it equals one bernie sanders. >> sve: wow. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's what it does. divide by two. [ applause ] >> steve: a little few numbers in there. your kid still -- >> jimmy: finally if you take one dollar minus 95 cents, it equals nickelback. there you go. that's -- that's some good math. that's all the time we have for popular mathematics.
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of "the totoght show." it's super fun! come on back. [ cheers and applause ] [ scanner beeping ] sir, could you step aside? "sjr"? come on. you know who i am. progressive insurance? uh, i save people an average of over $500 when they switch? did you pack your own bags? oh! right -- the name your price tool. it shows people policy options to help fit their budget. [ scanner warbling ] crazy that a big shot like me would pack his own bags, right? [ chuckles ] so, do i have the bight to remain handsome? [ chucklkl ] wait. uh-oh. we love, love, chocolaty, creamy, with a little something extra. mmm deliciousness. cookies or almonds. yumminess. hershey's is mine,
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this is henry's hard orange. it's a delicious, refreshing a a easy to drink hard soda. but not too hard- you've got stuff to do tomorrow. henry's hard soda. live hard...-ish. we sent two women into a real guys night out to see if they could find the guy who uses just for men. it's me. >>no way. just for men gives you a natural gray-free look. just lather in. in just five minutes. great-looking hair, made easy. just for men. james drove his rav4 hybrid into the frozen wilderness. the scent of his jerky attracted a hungry wolfpack behind him. to survive, he had to remain fearles he would hunt with them. and expand their territory.
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with a wolf named accalia... ...become den mother and d rse their young. james left in search of his next adventure. how far will you take the all-new rav4 hybrid?
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(phone ringing) (phone ringing) you can't deal with something by ignoring it . but that's how some presidential candidates seem to be dealing with social security. americans work hard and pay into it, so our next president needs a real plan to keep it strong. (elephant noise) (donkey noise) hey cacaidates!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, welcome back, everybody. like that. i like that. i i ink i thought of a n n dance. anyone can do it. anyone can do it. [ cheers ] >> steve: anybody can do it. my grandma and your grandma sitting g the fire my grandma said to your grandma she's gonna set your flag on fire talkin' bout -- hey, you know what? >> steve: hey! what? >> jimmy: you know what? instead of me singing it, whwh don't we have me, sia and natalie portman sing it with the roots? [ cheers and applause ] check out this video we made
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my grandma and your grand were sitting by the fire my grandma said to your grandma i'm gonna set your flag on fire talkin' bout hey now hey now hey now hey now iko i i un-day jack-a-mo fee-no ai na-na jack-a-mo fee na-nay look at my king all dressed in red iko iko un-day bet you five dollars he'll kill you dead jack-a-mo fee na-nay talkin' bout hey now hey now hey now hey now iko iko un-day jack-a-mo e-no ai na-na jack-a-mo fee na-nay my flag boy and your flag boy sitting by the fire my flag boy said to your flag boy i'm gonna set your flag on fire
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hey now hey now hey now iko iko un-day jack-a-mo fee-no ai na-na jack-a-mo fee na-nay see that guy all dressed in green iko iko un-day he ain't a man he's a lovin' machine jack-a-mo fee na-nayay talkin' bout hey now hey now hey now hey now iko iko un-day jack-a-mo fee-no ai na-na jackck-mo fee na-nay jack-a-mo fee na-nay jack-a-mo fee na-nay jack-a-mo fee naay [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on! the roots right there! [ cheers and applause ] natalie portman! sia! [ cheers ] come on. nothing but percussion there. that was fun. stick around. we'll be right back with more
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[ cheers and applause ] who knew dates and cashews shed together could taste likea cookie? you think they'd taste like dates and cashews. nope, cookie. weird.
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the world a president has to grapple with, sometimes you can't even imagine. that's the job. and she's prepared for it like no other.r. a tireless secretary of state, standing up against the abuse of women and girls. negotiating a cease-fire gaza, leading the diplomacy that keeps us out of war. the presidency is the toughest job in the world... and she's the one leader who has what it takes to get every part of the job done. i'm hillary clinton, and i approve this messagege [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah! welcome, welcome, welcome back.
tv-commercial tv-commercial
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a golden globe and academy award winning actress who produces and stars in a big new western called "jane got a a gun." it's in theaters this friday. ease welcome a very talented, very hard-working human. here's natalie portmanan [ cheers and applause ] >immy: oh! >h. >> jimmy: come on. welcome. thank you for coming on the show. >> thank you so much for having me. >> jimmy: thank you for doing that bit with -- >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: singing and playing blocks with sia. [ light laughter ] >> you guys are so cool and i'm just like the dorky mom like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, it's the best dance. it's so cute. you're just like -- >> oh, my gosh. i was panicking back there. i was like -- it looks like i was performing on "sesame street." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, that's what it feels like when you come on. no, you're absolutely the coolest.
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>> thanks, that was the coolest opportunity. >> jimmy: you know, i mean it's sia. i mean, how can you describe that person? >> she is amazing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know how to describe -- i mean, seriously she's like someone i've never met. thth voice, we didn't nene a a microphone for that. she was like -- iko iko i'm like, okay. well, we have a different version, like i'm gonna hide the spoons i guess. [ laughter ] >> you were killer on the spoons. >> jimmy: thank you, i appreciate that. that's what i'm known for. >> where'd you learn that? >> jimmy: that's how i got the job. [ laughter ] the "the tonight show" they're like, can you play the spoons? they're e ke, leno plays the spoons. i go, yeah, i can play the spoons. but i just -- don't you -- you get a little nervous around sia, 'cause just, we're fans. we're superfans. >> she is so, so cool. and what a voice. >> jimmy: : ah, and of course, you rocked the wig out, too. i love it. here's how -- >> in an embarrassing mom way. >> jimmy: here's how harvard and smart you are. because i ow you went to harvard. don't rub it in. you brought it up.p. not really.
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i didn't go to harvard. we asked natalie if she wants to do this bit and you're so ce and said yes and d appreciate that. then you get here today and i'm singing like -- jock-a-mo fee-na ai na-ne jock-a-mo fee na-ne and you had already researched the lyrics and the song -- the song means something. i i d no idea. that there's a meaning to "iko iko un-day." i go, what is it -- where is it from? what is it? you're like a human wikipedia. >> not at all. >> jimmy: you're like the amazon echo thing. >> i'm like the person who uses wikipedia like all other people. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i know, but here's the fun thing, i don't have to use it. i just ask you.( what does kind of mean? do you know? >> no, it was -- i tried to find the lyrics 'cause they were like you're gonna have to like sing along. so i was like, "google." >> jimmy: you didn't think -- we sent you the lyrics. you're like, this can't be the lyrics. these are sound d fects. [ laughter ] this is like jimmy wrote it in crayons. you're like, "jock-a-mo fee na-ne?" and i faxed it, which is very hard to do. they don't have fax machines any more. [ laughter ] will -- >eah, it said something that
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>> jimmy: a mardi gras song? >> a mardi gras, yeah, creole. >> jimmy: i just love that you researched that. >> i didn't research it. i was looking for the lyrics. god, you go to harvard and everyone gives you a hard time for the rest of your life. >> jimmy: oh, please! rub it in. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, we get it. you went to harvard, great. [ laughter ] they sent my application back to me. don't waste money on the s smp they said. they go, yeah, we're not even accepting this envelope. no, you know, once i actually tried to -- i tried to do stand-up at harvard and you were booking the concerts. >> that's how i met these guys, the coolest people in the world. >> jimmy: i mean, come on, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] you booked the roots? >> they were like -- they were the first band we were dying to have there. and questlove did an amazing, amazing panel there. >> questlove: oh, i forgot, okay. >> yeah. [ laughter ] yeah. and now he's a professor so. >> jimmy: wow, yeah. so, you had the panel there and just what? just talked to -- >> questlove: yeah.
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[ laughter ] you guys -- i remember getting a call back if i could do stand-up when you were running things. >> i'm not in charge of stand-up. anywhere. all. >> jimmy: i think though you were a little bit or something. 'cause they said and i go, i'd love to do stand-up at harvard 'cause i love -- >> you should still do it. >> jimmy: well, i don't do stand-up anymomo. >> why not? >> jimmy: well, i do it five nights a week. [ light laughter ] in front of millions of people. >> true. >> jimmy: but yeah -- >> i don't work at harvard anymore. >> jimmy: but anyways i remember my agent saying well, we h he to call natalie popoman to do it. and i go, how hard is this? we have to call natalie portman? but i guess you were booking the stuff. anyways, thank you for not hiring me. [ laughter ] i wanted to talk to o u about t leles talk about your movie "jane got a gun." it's a big western, and you are a badass in this film. and oh, my gosh, you're great in it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's rare to have a a female lead in a western, but here you are and it works. it's fantastic. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: do you wanna setup e story at all?
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is stranded at her home with an enemy coming and has to go to her ex-boyfriend to ask him for help. >> jimmy: the gang is comin' to get ya. >> so, it's sort of this love story siege in the wild west. >> jimmy: like a love triangle, too. and the head of the other gang, the bad gang, is ewan mcgregor. >> yes. [ scottish accent ] >> jimmy: ewan mcgregor. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but he's not scottish in this. but either way. it's a scottish western and it's rare. you don't see it much, but it existed, you know? i wikipediaed it earlier. [ laughter ] tons of scottish westerns, yeah. he -- we love him on the show 'cauau we always do goofy y uff with ewan, but man, he's a a villain in this, man. >> he's scary in it. >> jimmy: evil. >> he's scary in it. >> jimmy: evil, yeah. and just smiling throughout and just mean and oh, gosh. i wanted to o ow everyone a a clip here. here's natalie portman convincing ewan mcgregor to give up the location of her daughter in "jane got a gun." in theaters this friday.
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>> where is she? >> now, jane, if i tell you that, what am i left with? >> tell me w wre -- you took -- my child. >> jane! >> are you counting? because i still got a pair of bullets, and a question that i ain'n'gonna ask again! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i ain't gonna ask again! that's how you do it right there. come on. natatae portman, "jane gotot a gun" is in theaters this friday. john oliver joins us after the break. stick around, everybody.
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we brought you here today to get your honest opinion about this new car. to keep things unbiased, we removed all the logos. feels like a bmw. reminds meme little bit of l le an audi. so, this car supports apple carplay. siri, open maps. she gets me. wow. it also has teen driver technology. it even mutes the radio until the seat belts are buckled. i'm very curious what it is. this is the 2016 chevy malibu. and it sells for? it starts at twenty-two five. what? oh wow. i mean with all l is technology. that's a game changer.
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today in america, the top 1/10 of 1% owns almost as much wealth as the bottom 90% this great country and our government belong to all of us. wall street, corporate america, wealthy campaign donors have so much influence that the only way they are defeated is when millions of people begin to stand up and say loudly and clearly, "enough is enough."
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a three-time emmy award winning comedian. he's also o e host of the critically acclaimed show "last week tonight with john oliver," which returns february 14th at 11:00 p.m. on hbo. everyone, please welcome john oliver. [ cheers and applause ] >> i think -- i think i just did soldier boy for no reason. [ laughter ] absolutely no reason. >> jimmy: that's what we want you to do. that's why we love having you on. >> i heard that beat and i threw out a soldier boy. >> jimmy: you had to do it. you had to d dit. you had to do it. i wanna say congrats on everything. congrats on -- you just recently won a critic's choice
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>> yeah! >> jimmy: i mean, you're really working hard on this show. >> those awards are now meaningless. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no, they're not. you deserve the awards. >> no. value the currency of those awards. >> jimmy: we love the show. obviously, you know we're superfans of the show. >> thank you. >> j jmy: we've done bits together but, gosh, we watch everything, i go, oh, that's brilliant. last season you started a a church. >> yeah, we started a church. [ laughter ] it turns out that is an incredibly easy thing to do with almost no legal consequences. yeah, we started a church and my wife was rachel dratch, who's the greatest. >> jimmy: of course. i love rachel. she's a funny, funny -- >> yeah, we asked for r nations for like $1 donations. >> jimmy: how did you even -- >> it got out of hand fast. [ light laughter ] basically we got in touch with this pastor and for six months he was e-mailing back and forth and we were sending him money and he was sending us stupid [ bleep ] back. and we were sending him more and keeping this plate spinning. and eventually we just set up our own church and then we had $7$7000 donated in singles. [ laughter ]
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a crazy iceberg. someone sent us a four-foot wooden penis, which i did not ask for, jimmy. i can't stress that enough. >> jimmy: you did not ask for that. >> at no point did i say please send a four-foot wooden penis, or indeed three foot or five foot. >> jimmy: yeah, well, i'm sorry it just didn't fit in the background, here. i had to send it to someone, yeah. i had to send it to someone. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but you do crazy things like that. i mean, not crazy things, but it is a little crazy. >> it's objectively stupid. >> jimmy: but i do -- i do enjoy it. but it's just insane -- but not even insane. >> no, it is. >> jimmy: i can't even think it's possible. you went to russia and you interviewed edward snowden. >> yeah, well, that is insane. and that is less legally safe, to be honest. >> jimmy: how did you even -- how did you pull it off? who knew that you were going? >> well, we didn't tell hbo. >> jimmy: good for you. >> yeah. [ laughter ] that was arguably the first people we should have told. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and they ended upupeing the last.
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so, yeah, i called them after we got back and said, i was in russia, surprise. [ light laughter ] i was in russia, talking to edward snowden. and they said, okay. >> jimmy: what did it feel like in -- >> it felt like we were in trouble all the time. [ laughter ] it got so -- 'cause i was even worried coming bacacto america whether we'd be in trouble here. so we spread the camera tapes between us around our bodies. it felt like the last scene of "argo." [ laughter ] with all i was thinking was once the wheels of the plane take off, i think i'm safe. which is an infantile understandininof international diplomacy. >> jimmy: of course. but man, oh, man it was fantastic. >> it was amazing. it was an amazing experience. >> jimmy: the new show -- the new season starts in a few weeks, february 14th, 11:00 p.m. >> yeah, if you're looking for the least romantic thing to do on valentine's day, do that. >> jimmy: it's good. i saw the poster for it. and you look sharp. and you got a bunch of good quotes, here.
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this is from -- this is from cher. >> yeah. >> jimmy: go -- >> go [ bleep ] yourself. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> you wee rat face. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] now, that's not really from cher. >> oh, that is absolutely from cher. basically what happenewas cher's twitter handle is a work of art. if you ever want to know what cher thinks about anything at any time of the day, look at her twitter. so we had -- we've done this joke on the show about social media saying social media, something that cher nearly understands how to use because she's done some very dumb -- 's basically, look, you got it here, this, that's not how twitter works. >> jimmy: what is it? >> that's not how it works. [ laughter ] it's nearly -- the thing is that is nearly how twitter works. >> jimmy: please re-e-eet! >> so close. so we did that. we made fun of her. and so -- and that was her response. go [ bleep ] yourself, you wee rat face. >> jimmy: that's very, very nice.
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>> very boring. >> jimmy: very boring. yeah, very boring. >> i don't think he's entirely wrong about that. >> jimmy: no, yeah, but who is the most surprising thing? >> the president of ecuador, the president of ecuador says i'm more unpleasant than a a diuretic. [ laughter ] that's the current president of ecuador, who took it upon himself to tweet at me across one angry morning saying there's no -- there's never been a funny english comedian and that i was, yeah, i was basically as unpleasant as a a diuretic. i can't go to ecuador unless i only ever want to be in ecuador for the rest of my life. [ laughter ] i can go. i just can't leave. >> jimmy: : u can't get out, exactly. but obviously you have a lot of fans. and you don't -- you haven't upset that many people because you have a great story about ll cool j. >> yeah, so, you know ll cool j, right? >> jimmy: i love ll cool j. >> and so often, you know, if you meet someone amazing, then they can be disappointing. ll cool j is not that. >> jimmy: okay.
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>> jimmy: i agree. >> and let me prove that to you. my wife loves ll cool j. she saw him at baggage claim at laguardia waiting for his bags like he's a normal person, which he obviously isn't. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, he's ll cool j. >> he's ll cool j. >> jimmy: he certainly is, yeah. >> he's ll cool j. there's nothing normal about that. >> jimmy: no, no, no, yep. >> so my wife, my wife, for reasons best understood to her, decides to go over and speak to him. but instead of saying hello. she starts rapping t verses from "doing it well." [ laughter ] i swear she just goes up, no hello and just says -- i'm gonna call you big daddy and scream your name [ laughter ] matter of fact i can't wait for your candy rain to his cret, jimmy, he does not say what or who the [ bleep ] are you? >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] >> he also doesn't take the first bag that comes past saying this is mine and make an understandable fast exit. he doesn't miss a beat. he joins straight in. so what cha sayin i get my
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make it last forever damn the kiy cat's tight >> they do the whole song [ cheers and appppuse ] the whole song. does the whole songlat baggage claim at laguardia. the whole thing. yeah. >> jimmy: ll cool j. >> he is the greatest. i think, i think if you see ll cool j in the streets, you can just start singing his songs at him and he'll join in. i think that's it. >> jimmy: he's that great of a a human being. >> from a social study of one, that's it. he's the greatest. >> jimmy: he's the greatest living man, ll cool j righ there. >> who does that? >> jimmy: ll cool j. yeah, give it up for ll. [ cheers and applause ] we always love when you come on. valentine's day, february 14th, season threef "last week tonight with john oliver" premieres on hbo. we'll be right back with a
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she's a grammy-nominated artist and one of the most creative forces in music today. that's right. performing "cheap thrills" off her highly-anticipated album "this is acting," please welcome sia! [ cheers and applause ]
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turn the radio on it's friday night and i won't be long gotta do my hair i put my make up on it friday night and i won't be long til i hit the dance floor hit the dance floor i got all i need no i ain't got cash no i ain't got cash but i got you baby baby i don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight i love cheap thrills baby i don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight i love cheap thrills but i don't need no money as long as i can feel the beat i don't need no money as long as i keep dancing come on come on turn the radio on it's saturday and i won't be long gotta paint my nails put my high heels on
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and i won't be long til i hit the dance floor hit the dance floor i got all i need no i ain't got cash i ain't got cash but i got you baby baby i don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight i love cheap thrills baby i don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight i love cheap thrills i don't need no money as long as i can feel the beat i don't need no money as long as i keep dancing i love cheap thrills
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i don't need no money as long as i can feel the beat i don't need no money as long as i keep dancing baby i don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight i love cheap thrills baby i don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight i love cheap thrills i don't need no money as long as i can feel the beat i don't need no money as long as i keep dancing la la la la la la la i love cheap thrills la la la la la la la
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la la la la la la la i love cheap thrills la la la la la la la i love cheap thrills [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! that is the way to do it. sia! [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. thank you. "this is acting" is available this friday. pre-order it. buy five copies now.
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there are those who say we cannot defeat a corrupt political system and fix a rigged economy. but i believe we need to lift our vision above the obstacles in place and look to the american horizon. to a nation where every child can not only dream of going to college, but attend one. where quality healthcare will be a birthright of every citizen. where a good job is not a wish, but a reality. where women receive equal pay and a living wage is paid to all. an america where after a lifetime of labor,
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a nation that defends our people and our values, but no longer carries so much of that burden alone. i know we can create that america if we listen to our hearts. and that journey begins here in iowa. i'm bernie sanders. i approve this message, and i ask you to join with us at the caucuses on monday night.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to natalie portman, john oliver, nobody does it like sia, right? come on now. you guys are phenomenal. thank you. give it up for the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. ve a great night. hope we see you tomorrow.
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>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- senator john mccain. comedian j.b smoove. music from lukas graham. featuring the 8g band with fred armisen and janet weiss. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlem, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening i'm seth meyers. this is "late night," how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ]
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